I do not believe in "God"

I went to church at one point in time. But once my mom left - I stopped going. After that, I'd go with my friends now and then. But even then - I found myself thinking "bullshit" through the entire service.

I'm not atheist. I could never deny the fact there possibly could be a God and Jesus Christ. My dads side of the family is very scientific... and when you sit down and really think of all the FACTS, you truly question "God."

I called myself atheist for maybe a year or two of my life. But I HATED saying I didn't believe. It makes me feel guilty... there very well possibly could be a God. It's a 50/50 for me.

Agnostic.

I believe there is a higher power. But to what extent, I do not know. I do not involve God in my life, nor do I deny him.

BUT! my biggest pet peeve is when people push God into my life and surrounding. I will sit at a table and listen to a prayer before dinner. I will bow my head during a funeral and at weddings. I will truly CARE about the prayers. And sometimes, I'll even pray to myself - and I always find myself saying;

"If there is a God, I am sorry for all my questioning in you. But I know if you are there, you've already forgiven me for that..."

But I have not preyed in a year. Not since November of 2007.

There are people the revolve their lives around the bible, God, and preying. It drives me crazy. It makes me furious. I have no care for the bible. Never have. It's a book rewritten in so many different forms, and supposedly from such a such time era... I'm a fact kind of person. The idea of believing something that is not justified with hard evidence, - is just ridiculous to me.

If preying got us anywhere. Then why did 9/11 happen? Why did the economy crash? why the natural disasters? the wars? Why does everyone kneel to prey each night, putting their faith in something that very well possibly not be there, but everything in the world still crashes with negativity.

It would be nice, to believe that speaking from your heart and asking for things could possibly make things in this world better... But I've never seen any good come from it.

Life is shit, this world is shit, with, or without God.

I know that the human population is the worst existence on this planet. The functions of our brain and emotions are what make us all live like mad animals. I know that "God" can not control our minds, thoughts, actions, and emotions.

I was raised to believe, that God, is love.
God is not a man. Nor a women. God doesn't have power. It's love.

Referring to God, is love.

That was what I was raised to believe. And I still do. I do not believe in any God.

And I absolutely HATE IT when people "prey for me" and state it over and over again. When I have already said to this person or people that I do not believe. Go ahead, prey for me, but it just pisses me off to fucking hear it. It makes me feel as if you're trying to push the idea of "god" on me.

I want nothing to do with these people.

Sending me parts from the bible and preying for me, asking me personal questions on why I don't believe - it's none of your fucking business.

And to this person. And they know who they are.

You wonder why I get creeped out. The things you say, "I'm thinking of you" - yeah okay. Calling me sweetie, and saying shit that just rubs me the wrong way. I looked at her user info, and read it. I read some of the comments on her "friends only" thing...
Someone stalking her? hmm I wonder. And a comment saying "I removed him from my list, but he wont remove me!" and her replying with "be careful, i understand you believed in the good about him" or something like that.

I WONDER who she is talking about.

Stalking? me being creeped out?

It makes me wonder. Truly wonder.

So no, I do not ever want to speak to you again. Delete me from your friends list, or I'll just block you.

kthxbuhbye